- Inc. Online
- ABC's The View From the Bay
Clever Parents.com
By Kim Estes, POMWA
Mommy, is that tree dying? That was the question that came from the backseat as we drove along the road to our house with leaves fluttering from the trees and blowing across the road in front of us. As we cruised along, that single question (along with making the mistake of trying to “pop” into Target over the weekend) jolted me out of my Summer flip flops and hit me with the realization that it was BACK to SCHOOL time. That tree was not dying… it was sensing that summer was ending and Fall was around the corner.
There is a lot of preparation that goes into back to school season and now is the perfect time to brush up on safety too.
Preschool years: Start talking about the “Uh-oh” feeling. Let kids know that the “icky” feeling they may feel in their tummy is their body’s way of letting them know that something is not right. Encourage them to seek out a safe grown up when they get the uh-oh feeling. Let them know they are the boss of their body!
Elementary school years:
Talk about the roles and responsibilities of the adults around them. Talk about healthy boundaries. Review who their safe grown ups are. Review with your child who is authorized to pick them up from school. Ask them if anyone gives them the “Uh-Oh” feeling. Remind them to “check first” before accepting gifts or rides from anyone (even if they know the person!).
For parents:
Plan ahead on how you want to handle play dates at new friends’ houses. Talk about how you want to handle sleepovers this year. Talk about the readiness of your child if they express and interest in walking home with a friend or if they want to try staying home alone for short periods of time. Thinking ahead and preparing to answer these questions will make you less a target of being put on the spot when your kid asks you.
For all ages:
Remember to make talking about personal safety a fun thing. Never use scare tactics. The more you talk about safety the more your kids learn about listening to their instincts and how to make safe choices.
About the Author: Kim Estes is the co-founder of the non-profit organization: Parent Education And Child Empowerment (P.E.A.C.E of Mind) http://www.pomwa.org . Kim has worked with parents for over 12 years, educating them on various parenting topics. Kim and her cohort in crime prevention, Sabrina, help liberate parents from fearful parenting! Through non fearful techniques and easy to apply parenting strategies they help empower families to be safe.
Amy Lang, MA - Birds + Bees + Kids®LLC
This is an excerpt from my new book, Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids - A guide to talking to your kids about sexuality, love, and relationships. You can purchase it on line. http://www.siecus.org
In this day and age of HIV and AIDS, we must talk to our kids about sexually transmitted infections and sooner than we think! If you watch the news or listen to the radio when your kids are around, they have most likely heard the words and possibly engaged in discussion with friends about AIDS. If your child has started puberty, he or she should know that people can sometimes pass germs and can become very sick from having sex. Perhaps this will act as a deterrent to sexual activity! Every little nudge towards waiting to have sex is a good one, right?
You don’t need to know every little detail of each infection, but it’s helpful to have a basic understanding of symptoms and methods of transmission. The Centers for Disease Control website is a good place to start if you need more information. Check the resources section for more information.
Remember! The best way to prevent an STI or HIV is to abstain from sex of any kind - oral, anal, and vaginal. The second best way is to use a condom every time you have sex. Finally, long-term monogamy with an honest and faithful partner is also very effective.
I’m going to make it a little easier and provide a simple, starter script for discussing HIV and AIDS. This is vitally important information for your children to have, and it’s important that the information you give them is accurate. It’s best to have this conversation by about age 10.
“There is a Sexually Transmitted Infection called HIV that causes an illness called AIDS. It’s caused by a virus or germ that travels from person to person in body fluids - blood, semen, vaginal secretions, and breast milk.
The HIV virus eats away at the immune system that usually keeps us healthy. The white blood cells can’t fight off regular illnesses and diseases, and a person with HIV eventually develops AIDS.
It’s sad because AIDS causes the person to die. There is no cure right now, but people can take medicines that help them to be healthy and live as long as possible.
Having sexual intercourse with an infected partner is one way to get HIV. This means vaginal, anal, or oral sex. You can also get HIV from sharing needles to inject drugs.
The best way to prevent HIV infection is to not have sex and not use intravenous drugs. If you decide to have sex, using a condom every time can stop you from becoming infected with HIV. Also, having one partner who does not have sex with other people can prevent HIV.”
This is just to get you started. The Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States provides excellent information about how to talk to kids of all ages about HIV and AIDS. www.siecus.org
Do you ever stumble and stutter your way through a “selling conversation” and end up hearing ‘no’ more often than you’d like? Or worse, do you find yourself avoiding these crucial conversations altogether (which is the same as getting a ‘no’)?
Most contribution-centered business owners (especially women) feel uncomfortable with selling. The problem is, when you’re not actively selling, you don’t make sales. And when you don’t make sales, your cash flow dries up. Not to mention the fact that you can’t help your clients until they say ‘yes’ to your offers.
So, how do you get comfortable with “proactive selling” in a way that’s in alignment with your values?
One of the biggest reasons people stumble during the one-on-one sales conversation is because they’ve convinced themselves that the prospective client is listening with critical, skeptical, even mistrustful ears. No wonder the conversation doesn’t flow trippingly off their tongue.
If you ever feel nervous when you know you need to be ‘silver-tongued,’ here’s three minute exercise to give yourself instant confidence at any moment so you can sail through your sales conversations smoothly.
[NOTE: This will only help you if you actually do the exercise. If you just think about doing it, your brain will intellectualize the learning and set it aside. You won’t actually ‘get’ the benefits unless you practice the exercise at least once.]
=== The 3-Minute Confidence Booster ===
Step 1 - Think of someone you know who is comfortable and confident in talking with potential clients. (It may be someone you know personally, like your best friend, OR it may be someone you know of, like Oprah or Billy Mays.)
Step 2 - Stand up. (Yes, really! It makes a difference.)
Step 3 - Imagine them standing next to you. Knowing what you know about them, get a sense of what thoughts, feelings and beliefs they have that support their confidence in this situation. Be as specific and concrete as you can, e.g., “They feel enthusiastic and passionate” instead of “They feel good.” Spend some time listing every supportive thought, feeling and belief you imagine them to hold.
Step 4 - When you have as strong a sense as you can of their thoughts, feelings and beliefs, literally step into their shoes (the space where you imagined them to be standing next to you). As you step into their space, allow those positive thoughts, feelings and beliefs to become your own.
Step 5 - Now imagine yourself to be in a sales conversation, speaking from this place of passionate confidence. Watch how the conversation unfolds in a whole new and exciting way.
Your imagination is a powerful tool. When you imagine positive thoughts, even if they’re ‘borrowed’ from someone else, those thoughts impact your behavior in a positive way. This confidence will carry over into your ‘live’ sales conversations, which will make potential clients more likely to say yes to your offers.
And whether you hear a ‘yes’ or a ‘no,’ you’ll both have had a positive, meaningful connection.
©2009 Helen Graves
Helen Graves, Grand Poohbah of Crackerjack Online Marketing Strategy, shows service-based small business owners how to create stronger connection so you sell more with your product and program promotional campaigns.
Visit www.OnlineLaunchSecrets.com to get a hold of her free online marketing resource, “Make More Sales: How to Create Connection and Desire So Clients Can’t Wait to Buy from You.”
 |
read the button on Facebook from my brother- in-law who is currently dealing with a colon cancer diagnosis. It’s true. Cancer does suck! |
| So what can we as family members and friends do to take out the suck in cancer and smooth the road to living a continued vibrant life? | |
My dad is also living with colon cancer. He’s been dealing with the ramifications of the “C” word for over two years and, for him, it does indeed suck but with our help, he puts a little sugar on it to keep his spirits high. Dad loves to have his feet rubbed and scheduling pedicures makes a wonderful gift. I like to bring him new foot scrubs and lotions. It’s just an hour or two out of my day but it gives him pleasure, takes his mind off the illness, gives him a chance to chat with me, and ultimately provides a lasting relaxed feeling for the rest of the day or evening.
| There are a myriad of products to use and I just discovered a new store of products called LUSH (www.lush.com) |  |
.His birthday present from me this weekend was a foot scrub bar that smells heavenly and leaves the foot feeling silky smooth (I tried it out first!). Gift conditions are that when this bar wears out another one will be provided!
…Meaningful, Simple, and Ongoing…
One key to helping with cancer, from my personal experience is to just be there. Don’t avoid the person because you are afraid of bothering them and provide simple pleasures. A good laugh is always welcome. In searching for where to find good sites with ideas and examples of what fits each particular situation I came to the conclusion that there are three main elements to cancer patient gifts. Make it Simple, Ongoing, and Meaningful-SOM - give SOMe to make a difference?!
My parents are planning a trip to Hawaii between treatments for my dad. My brother gave his frequent flyer miles so that my 6′3″ dad would be comfortable on the plane traveling in a higher class. I’m contributing to a Red Carpet Club membership for them so he has a comfortable place to wait between flights. Those little extras add up to make his getting around so much easier. It’s simple for us to do, ongoing for the trip, and meaningful considering even such a basic excursion is difficult for him so any assistance goes a long way.
When dealing with breast cancer, my friend experienced huge emotional swings. Rather than send flowers, I would visit with a new tea I’d found and cookies and just talk to her. I simply listened and let her express all the thoughts and fears she kept bottled up she felt others didn’t want to hear. Just holding her hand while she cried made her feel validated and loved. I let her know just by my presence, touching her hand, listening, and soothing her that I cared and although I couldn’t begin to relate to what she was going through, I could certainly empathize with her pain and anguish. She felt, as I’m sure others do, that she should feel grateful for another chance at life but she had all this anger and, what she thought was, self pity. Her concern was that she wouldn’t be seen as appreciative for the blessings she had despite a complete mastectomy! I acknowledged her thoughts, reassured her and didn’t judge but affirmed her feelings. Later when discussing beneficial things people do for or say to cancer patients, she admitted just having someone sit with her and talk helped her healing process the most.
On another visit with my friend we set up a women’s night at the movies and brought a chick flick, chocolate, and lots of laughter. While researching ideas for providing support for my friend I found a cancer support club created in the spirit of Gilda Radner. I don’t see a Gilda’s Club in our area here in the Monterey area of California. It might be a good time to see if I can’t spark a fire to create that resource for our community!
…Simple, Ongoing, Meaningful…just be there…
Resources Online:
“In life, a friend is like water in the desert.” - Anonymous
Gilda’s Club
Mission
Our Mission is to create welcoming communities of free support for everyone living with cancer - men, women, teens and children - along with their families and friends. Our innovative program is an essential complement to medical care, providing networking and support groups, workshops, education and social activities.
www.gildasclub.org
My friend also has children. What do you say or do with children when friends or family have cancer? Check out this website I found called:
Cancer Care for Kids
http://www.cancercare.org/pdf/booklets/ccc_helping_children.pdf
“Free, personalized websites that support and connect loved ones during critical illness, treatment and recovery.”
http://www.caringbridge.org/
The American Cancer Society, Inc
www.cancer.org
DailyStrength.org “is the largest, most comprehensive health network of people sharing their advice, treatment experiences, and support.”
http://www.dailystrength.org/
- Access 500+ support groups for health issues and life challenges
- Set realistic goals and get advice from people just like you
- Research the latest drugs, treatments and alternative therapies
“Ways You Can Help a Family Member or Friend with Cancer:”
-has a great list of do-able hints to help a friend or relative with cancer.
http://www.gildasclubdesertcities.org/Helping-Family-Members—Friends-With-Cancer
CancerCare is a national nonprofit organization that provides free, professional support services for anyone affected by cancer.
http://www.cancercare.org/
Interested in supporting cancer research with gifts you can give to others?
Friends of Mel
One of my favorites is the Mel’s Bracelet - “It is the mission of the Friends of Mel Foundation to raise money for cancer. The Foundation will look to fund creative and promising projects that impact patient care at both the grassroots and institutional levels. Areas of greatest interest are research, education, awareness, prevention and patient support.”
http://www.friendsofmel.org/bracelet.html
Choose Hope, Inc.
“We offer a full line of Cancer Awareness Products and Cancer Gifts for you and your family. Everything from Cancer Ribbons, to Cancer Sucks items and Chemotherapy Gifts. Check out our great selection of Cancer Ribbon Magnets, Cancer Wristbands, and Gifts for Cancer Patients. If you or someone you know has just been diagnosed, this is the site for you!”
http://choosehope.com/