- Inc. Online
- ABC's The View From the Bay
Clever Parents.com
Join the celebrity elite in fashioning a truly beneficial workout routine using Pilates and Yoga. People who are paid to keep their bodies in top form often choose one or the other or both of these methods of exercising the mind, body, and spirit.
Madonna and Jennifer Aniston are just two who openly publicize the advantages of using Pilates and yoga. Madonna is a long time proponent of yoga for keeping fit and in top form. However, after her horse riding accident, she added Pilates to her routine to rehabilitate her shoulder joint and restore the use of her arm. If I can look that fit, she’s convinced me, I’m game! Some Cirque Du Soleil performers also depend on Pilates to keep fit for their grueling performances especially those who dance and need lithe fluid movement from their muscles like Michelle Cassidy, a dancer from the Mystere show. As she said, Pilates “works muscles you never knew existed.” She depends on Pilates to maintain muscle tone and flexibility between performances.
I began using Pilates several years ago after I was diagnosed with arthritis in my neck. My doctor recommended that I use the Pilates as my physical therapy to both promote weight loss and increase my flexibility. The goal was to build in Pilates and yoga as a regular exercise regiment and reduce the effects of the arthritis in my joints. So what is it about Pilates that makes it such a popular and effective workout option?
Pilates was invented 80 years ago by Joseph Pilates, a German athlete, who studied yoga, the use of breathing in workouts, and ancient Greek philosophy. His goal was to be able to successfully rehabilitate World War I soldiers. Pilates conditions the body from head to toe with low impact exercise focusing on strengthening the deep core muscle group in the lower back, abdomen, hips, and the Gluteus Maximus.
Check out these beginner workout moves on the website http://pilates.about.com/od/pilatesmat/tp/BeginnerExercises.htm A caution before starting Pilates, it is best to have one on one or small group instruction by a trained instructor to insure proper movement and prevent injury.
So what’s the difference and which is a better workout, Pilates or yoga? “Pilates and Yoga share similar goals, with both methods working toward individual progress in a non-competitive arena, with emphasis on stretching as well as strengthening of muscles. Pilates and yoga essentially work the same areas of the body with some key fundamental differences. Pilates works the body as an integrated whole, coordinating the upper and lower musculature with the body’s center. This dramatically improves strength, flexibility, posture and coordination.” (http://redmondpilates.com/is_pilates_for_me.html)
Yoga originated over 5,000 years ago in Northern India and focuses on creating harmony between the mind and body. It’s a lifestyle and the path to both physical and mental wellbeing and not merely an exercise. Yoga is about healthy diet, breathing and posture, and meditation. I found yoga to fit in well with my study of A New Earth reaching beyond my workout and into my heart and spiritual identity. Practicing yoga is about balance in everything from treatment of self, others, and even in diet, where moderation is the solution to reaching balance.
“For me, yoga is not just a workout - it’s about working on (my) yourself.”
~Mary Glove
While searching for information on beginning yoga poses, I came across this web page and these two basic poses. Visit the site to see the complete list- http://www.ebmyoga.com/beginyoga.html
Tadasana Mountain pose
Stand erect, feet together. Spread toes. Lift knee caps. Thigh bones back, tail bone in, lift sternum from base of spine. Shoulder blades & arms extend downwards.
Breathe and hold for 20-30 seconds.
Uttanasana Forward bend
Exhale forward bend into wall. Align feet under each hip, hands level w/hips, shoulder width. Inhale lift sitting bones. Exhale lengthen elbows, armpits, ribs, spine & sitting bones.
Breathe and hold for 30-60 seconds.
For those suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis, “The Remain Active with RA Yoga Guide is offered free exclusively at www.RAacademy.com and can be accessed when visitors to the site register.” I discovered this information while exploring information on yoga and arthritis on the pioneerthinking.com website. In our hectic world, yoga offers exercise to create a healthy body and meditation to maintain a spiritually open mind. It’s the harmony and balance that we all crave in our daily lives that yoga provides. Mothers in particular dealing with hormonal fluctuations, arthritis, or mood swings will find peace in a regular routine of yoga.
“How is Yoga helpful as a pain management technique? Whether the pain has a structural,
Physiological, or psychological/emotional manifestation, Yoga’s skill is in [aiding] the body’s capacity to optimize the functioning of all three of these areas. This happens by relieving unnecessary tension in the musculoskeletal structure, by opening the breathing and circulatory capacity, and by teaching the mind to detach itself from the struggle against the pain.”
—Arthur Kilmurray
Mystic River Yoga
My workout goals revolve around integrating both yoga and Pilates into my week. Yoga can be a very soothing beginning or end to the day for me. Sitting, breathing deep, letting go of the stresses of the day and focusing on my body, my breath and expressing gratitude (Namaste Yoga) sets the stage for inner peace and tranquility. Since I’m too far from a Pilates coach, I plan on investing in Malibu Pilates. The results are stunning and the machine fits under the bed. Unlike yoga, where a mat, my body and soft clothes are all I need, Pilates incorporates machines and workout balls for a more intense deep muscle workout. Both work in combination to create a complete mind, body and spirit balance – and there is so much of each method to choose from to fit your personal desire.
SOME INTERESTING RESOURCES FOR MORE YOGA AND PILATES INFORMATION:
This particular website does a clear, quick, and complete job of comparing the two workouts. (http://www.pilatesinsight.com/pilates/pilates-vs-yoga.aspx)
Two Pilates I’ve liked are Malibu and Winsor –
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Facts-About-The-Mari-Winsor-Pilates-Method-And-Workout&id=460529 and http://www.malibupilates.com/
I also enjoy the peace of Namaste Yoga –
http://fittv.discovery.com/fansites/namaste/namaste.html
http://www.blissdivineyoga.co.uk/index.shtml
http://www.desertsongyoga.com/articles_and_press_releases.html
http://www.greatyoga.com/asanas.html
http://www.pioneerthinking.com/ara-yogaguide.html
http://www.abc-of-yoga.com/beginnersguide/yogabenefits.asp
http://www.everything-about-pilates.com/exercises-for-arthritis.html
http://pilates.about.com/od/whatispilates/a/YogaPilatesConn.htm
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: “I wish no gifts, only presence.” ~Author Unknown
Melissa is the mother of a six year old little girl, Madeline, and the wife of a former ship captain. She and her family just moved to Maine a year ago from Monterey, CA to experience a change in lifestyle and become middle aged entrepreneurs. After 22 years of teaching, Mel (Melissa) needed more time with her family and so she and a friend started Dancestones.org; the business of giving comfort through Maine’s rolled stones. Reading and Writing are her deepest passions- when she’s not collecting stones in remote areas of Maine!
“Plateau”. That dreaded word that you do not want to hear, let alone experience. Especially if you have been diligently exercising in an attempt to get fit or lose weight. We have all experienced a plateau at some time – all of a sudden you stop losing weight or you just can’t seem to run any faster. When you hit a plateau, don’t panic. It doesn’t necessarily mean you need to work harder or spend more days at the gym. Here are five ideas that may help you break through in record time.
1) Take an Active Rest. If you have hit a plateau, it may be time for an “active rest”. Take a week off from structured exercise, and instead take leisurely walks, play ball with the kids, or take a yoga class. Active rest rejuvenates the mind and the body, and allows for overworked muscles to rest and rebuild. You will return to exercise stronger and ready for new challenges.
2) Time to Eat. As you increase your fitness level, your body’s metabolism may increase and so will your calorie needs. If you hit a plateau, evaluate how much you are eating. You may need to eat more than you have in the past for your body to continue to increase its fitness level. If you find you are often hungry, this is a clear sign you need to eat more to sustain your exercise program.
3) Mix it Up. If you do not vary your workout routine your body will eventually run on “cruise control”, and you will experience a plateau. Try new cardiovascular activities, or use free weights if you always use machines for strength training. Changes in your routine will surprise the body and force it to adapt, bringing you to new levels of fitness.
4) Different Day, Different Intensity. Varying your activities, or cross-training, is important to avoid or break through a plateau. While cross-training the type of activity is often recommended, it is also important to cross-train the intensity of your workouts. Specify different days of the week as low, moderate or high-intensity days. Try interval training – work at a low intensity for a couple of minutes and increase to a high intensity for a couple of minutes, and repeat. If you use a heart rate monitor, be sure your average heart rate for your exercise sessions varies from day to day.
5) Sleep It Off. Be sure you are getting enough sleep. The right amount of sleep for your body will allow time for your muscles to recover from exercise. This will ensure that you can come to your next exercise session with enough energy, and at full strength, to take on a challenging workout.
If you are still frustrated, find inspiration in the story of Chris Witty, winner of the Gold Medal in 1000 meter speed skating in the 1998 Winter Olympics. A month before she was to compete in the Olympics, she was diagnosed with mononucleosis. Of course she had to cut back on training, and at the time that she should have been preparing to peak for competition. Not only did she win the Gold Medal, which nobody expected, she broke the world record! Imagine what a little rest might do for your workouts!
If you find you still can’t break through that plateau, then make the decision to ride it out. Sometimes a plateau is necessary to allow the body to catch up with a new body weight or fitness level. Rest assured your body knows what is best and will break through the plateau at the right time!
Amy Lundberg owner of Aim For It – Fitness Coaching LLC helps women build an inner foundation to find balance and to bring about a healthier fit body and lifestyle. She has developed Self Care Before Sit-ups E-book and 10-week course. Amy is a certified Intuitive Eating Coach, Personal Fitness Trainer and Lifestyle Fitness Coach. Go to www.aimforfitness.com for more information and receive a free 45-minute consult to gain clarity on what is best for you in reaching and maintaining your goals.
It’s not an easy time to be a business owner. Costs are increasing while, in most industries, sales are in decline. We recognize that maintaining a happy, faithful and skilled staff is critical to our long-term success, but how do we address their expectations for raises and benefits every year if we’re barely making payroll?
It’s easy to get hung up on money as the single most important criteria for employee happiness, but it turns out there are other things that are more important. Although a staff member may say that pay is key, studies have shown that several other incentives actually have a greater, more lasting, impact on performance and fidelity than raises.
Consider these tips on how to keep your workers happy when your purse strings are tight:
Recognize: A good rule of thumb is to remember to say “thank you” as often as you are asking someone to do something for you. Part of this climate of gratitude is developed in the day-to-day manner in which we address employees, but we also should make sure to recognize good performance on a regular basis in print, before a group or otherwise. Public recognition has been shown to have a more positive impact on worker satisfaction than more money.
Take time: It doesn’t cost much, but a face-to-face lunch with support staff can demonstrate your interest in those who work for you as people. Your time and attention are an important investment that we can easily overlook when we’re busy, but planning at least one lunch a week, or a month in smaller offices, can pay off. Face time over lunch is also a good way to keep your finger on the pulse of potential problems and concerns before they get out of hand. Don’t have time for a lunch? Pop in an associate’s office and invite them to coffee.
Be flexible: Instead of coming to review time with nothing to offer, consider other benefits you can provide to dependable employees instead of a raise. Some parents might appreciate the chance to come in later one day a week, or to work from home on Fridays. If someone has proven themselves to be a valuable, reliable asset, honor and reward that performance with trust, in the form of more personal freedom. Another flex option is to allow someone time off to return to school so they can pursue advancement opportunities.
Outsource: Looking to take some burdens off of your current staff, but lacking the resources to hire another full-time person? There are some jobs that can be easily outsourced, and with a growing work-from-home pool of employees, you may find someone who is more qualified than you think. From virtual assistants who can manage calls and emails to public relations experts, accountants and even sales people, technology has greatly expanded the number of positions that can be done remotely. Many remote employees will work by contract, which means no benefits to pay, and most are willing to work part-time. You eliminate the cost of office space, equipment and all of the other expenses associated with full-time workers.
We’d all love to make more money, but sometimes hard times give rise to ideas that we might not otherwise come up with. Your people are your organization’s most valuable asset; invest in them wisely!
Got a question for big daddy? Email me, at: BigDaddy@mommyscompany.com
Christian Piatt is an author, columnist, and owner of http://www.mywordtree.com/ , a professional writing, editing and marketing service company. Their flagship service, Branching Out, is a custom weekly drip campaign service for only $129 a year. He is the father of four-year-old Mattias, and husband of Rev. Amy Piatt, pastor of a new church in Pueblo, Colorado, where he leads music. For more information about Christian’s books, and to read his personal blogs, please visit http://www.christianpiatt.com/
 |
For their first collaborative effort, Jen created Erin’s daughter’s 1st birthday cake using several illustrations created by Erin as inspiration and on the cake itself. Realizing that they truly enjoyed working with each other, the women began to build their first product line. In the meantime, brides expressed an increasing interest in using their individual business services in tandem. Clients using She Takes the Cake for their wedding cake, seemed to naturally seek out Bride Design for their paper needs. Honing their teamwork skills and meeting with couples together, Jen and Erin discovered they loved helping brides, moms-to-be, and families create a seamless vision for their events. A vision that begins when a guest opens their invitation and culminates when they arrive at the reception or event and see Jen’s sugar creation. |
| As word about their cookie invitations spread, Jen and Erin began expanding InvitastionsTM, into a larger line of edible greeting cards, invitations, and announcements, that can now be easily purchased through sweettalkboutique.com’s convenient online shopping cart. |
Other popular items offered on the site are Jen’s signature favor cookie which can be personalized with Erin’s original illustrations or a customer’s company logo, as well as traditional paper greeting cards and stationery. Additional treats and other gift items are also in the works.
Sweet Talk’s InvitastionsTM start at $15 each and come beautifully packaged in a coordinating decorative box with ribbon. All elements can be customized online by the buyer. They can be shipped directly to the customer for distribution or can be drop shipped directly to the recipient from Jen’s studio. As always, one of Erin’s paper invites accompany the finished cookie so that once the freshly baked InvitastionTM has been gobbled up, the recipient won’t miss a single detail about the time, date, and location of your event. Custom InvitastionsTM are also available there’s no minimum quantity at Sweet Talk. Whether you need one or one hundred, there is a greeting or invite perfect for your needs. Check out http://sweettalkboutique.com/, and be sure to keep coming back to see what cool things these moms will come up with next!
As I sit down to write this month’s Swim Mama article, I am thinking about all of the things of spring that make me happy. The birds are chirping, the flowers and trees are blooming and of course the weather… I LOVE the spring weather! Spring represents both a new beginning as well as an end to some chapters.
While our spirits and gardens experience a certain sparkle and new beginning, our academic year is ending. For swim team, spring signifies the changing of the guard in our parent volunteer positions. With over 200 swimmers, our team requires a considerable amount of volunteer assistance from the parents. We need volunteers on many levels; officials, referees, timers, computer input, fundraising etc. Many of the parents of the more “senior” swimmers have been the parents who have stepped up and gone the extra mile for the team. This year, we’ll lose about 20 swimmers who are going off to college.
When the team recently sent out a call for volunteers, I emailed an open offer to the council put me where ever they needed me most. I work from home; have flexibility with my schedule and decided that my level of commitment needed to coincide with the commitment of my son’s swimming. I recalled one of the political candidates talking about the importance of the actions we take when called to action. How will we step up to the plate when needed? So many parents do nothing. It is all we can do to get parents to time, so I figured I’d throw my time out there to the council and let them make the decision. We haven’t been on the team that long (only 2 years) but we will be on the team for years to come. It has become a big part of our life.
The council met, discussed the responses they had received, talked to the coaches and gave me a call. They were so excited that I stepped up that they asked me to be the Meet Director In Training! Wholly cow! That is the biggest volunteer position we have… or at least one of them. Over the next year, I will be learning the ropes of becoming the Meet Director, and then taking over that position. I’m actually very excited about the new position. And while I’m actually excited about the challenges and opportunities that will come with it, other parents are telling me “you should know better than to offer an open invitation like that. I would NEVER do that. You’re crazy!” I don’t understand that thought process.
Why not step it up and support your team, your kids? It is this kind of thinking that slows down momentum and makes it harder for those of us that DO want to help out. The 80/20 rule never ceases to fail. 20% of the parents do 80% of the work. Be a team parent. Step up and show your kids that you care about what they are doing by helping out. If you don’t have a lot of time to volunteer, find something that you can do to show support. Even small contributions make a BIG difference. And don’t forget, your kids are paying attention.
Swim on!
Ruthie Palmatier
ruthie@swimmama.com
The warm weather of spring always manages to get me excited about traveling. As much as I’d love to continually stay at boutique hotels in Manhattan or posh Caribbean resorts, those extravagances are reserved for special occasions (or my dreams). After all, I’ve got a toddler and a pre-schooler to consider when vacationing these days, so high-end accommodations are usually out of my price range. And in many cases they’re not the best place to stay with kids anyway.
Whether you’re road-trippers like us, or seasoned ‘round the world travelers, inevitably you’ll find yourself looking to stay with friends or family at some point on life’s journey. Frequent attention is given to being “the hostess with the mostess,” but few articles discuss being a gracious overnight guest. Here are a couple of guidelines to get you started, from making a stylish arrival to a pleasant departure…
Preparations
We have “an open invitation” to stay with many different friends and relatives, but I’m well aware that this does not mean just show up. Give your hosts as much notice as possible that you’ll be visiting their region. Email will do, but a phone call is best. A phone chat also gives you the chance to ask questions about scheduling, weather and what to bring, as well as the opportunity to plan meals and activities.
Arrival
Airport delays or that last hour in the family truckster with your two year old screaming may have you down in the dumps and dead tired, but do try and crack a smile when you arrive. I know my travel exhaustion quickly melts into delight when I see the welcoming faces of friends and family. Do keep your hosts posted on your ETA while you’re in transit, so they’re not waiting around all day or having to call the airport themselves to see if your flight is on time.
Arrive with a gift for your host family as well. A bottle of wine or fresh flowers are always a hit. Something from your hometown is a nice gesture. Over the years guests have treated me to yummy Wisconsin cheddar or authentic New York City bagels. I like to think about my hosts’ passions and hobbies when choosing a gift. For a friend who loves to cook I like to bring a great bottle of olive oil or a bouquet garni of fresh herbs when visiting. For a visit to my sister, some movie candy and a favorite DVD would be perfect. If this is just one stop on a long trip, feel free to make your gift something interesting and unexpected from your travels.
The Visit
One of the biggest perks of staying with friends and family while traveling is the opportunity it provides you to experience the people, in addition to the attractions, offered by your destination. Spend time with your hosts and let them lead the activities for the most part. That being said, it’s also important to respect your host family’s schedule and obligations. Many friends are delighted to have us come visit, but can’t afford to take an entire week off from work. In this case, try and give your host some space and a chance to wind down when they arrive home, and allow them to set the pace for the evening. Overall, do your best to fit into their routine. My friend Nicolle loves to sleep in, but over the years there have been many visits where she’s risen early to have a cup of coffee with me before I headed off to work (and she headed back to dreamland). Such efforts can truly make a host’s day. I know they have me itching to get back home to spend more time with visiting friends and enjoy their company.
Helping in the Home
This is where common sense and those tried and true “mom-isms” should come to mind. A gracious guest cleans up after herself. As a hostess, I try to give my guests the most private accommodations my home allows for and a place, however small, for themselves. Guests should keep their luggage as orderly as possible and except for some toiletry items in the bathroom, don’t spread through the entire house. Help with simple chores whenever possible. Loading the dishwasher, washing dishes, setting and clearing the table are all good places to start. If you are staying for longer than a week, offer to do some laundry, clean the kitchen, or chip in for groceries. I have several friends and family members who always offer to cook a meal or two when visiting us. What a treat! Not only does this give me a break, but I get Nic’s chicken paprikash, Mom’s Irish stew, or my sister Kathleen’s turkey tetrazzini. None of which seem to taste as good when I cook them myself. Lastly, before you leave, strip your bed and place dirty linens in a hamper or leave them folded at the end of the bed. You’ll probably get bonus points for making the bed with new linens if you can find them.
The Finishing Touch
A thank you note is a must after an overnight visit. If you manage to remember, pack some stationery in your bag, save some postage, and leave a thank you propped somewhere where your host will see it. I also love to receive thank you notes a week or two later in the mail. It makes me feel as if our guests are still thinking about the enjoyable time they had even after they’ve arrived home.
As my Mom used to tell me, “always leave your room better than you found it.” Adhere to that advice, as well as my favorite piece of travel wisdom—“never overstay your welcome”—and you’re sure to be invited back soon. Happy travels!
About the Author: Erin McKenna Nowak, is an entrepreneur, wife and the mother of two stylish little girls. After receiving a Bachelor of Fine Arts in graphic design and printmaking, she worked in New York City, Chicago and Providence, RI. Having been everything from a children’s book designer to the art director of several magazines, in 2004 Erin struck out on her own and started Bride Design. http://bridedesign.com features Erin’s fashion-forward, custom wedding and event stationery and accessories. Erin is also the pen and paper portion of http://sweettalkboutique.com, home of the Invitastion™—edible cookie invitations and greetings that are the tastiest trend in stationery! When she’s not busy designing or chasing after her kids, she can be found chasing after the latest styles in beauty, fashion, home interiors, music and more!
http://www.sweettalkboutique.com
I’m going to go out on a limb here and speculate that since you’ve gone to all the trouble and expense of putting up your website (or you’re about to), you’d really prefer that it start pulling its own weight –and by that I mean, bringing in business.
If you want prospective clients to pick up the phone after visiting you online, then you can’t afford to have what I call a “Paris Hilton” site.
You know, a site that looks flashy but communicates badly.
How often have you been to sites that are all glitz and no substance? They may start with a fancy flash page and you’re expected to sit there patiently while the images take forever to load. Or they’re stunningly beautiful in design, but you can’t figure out where the navigation bar is because it’s cleverly hidden in the tumbling waterfall graphic.
By the same token, potential clients are not enticed by a site that drones on and on, giving the visitor waaaay too many details about things they’re not really interested in – like where you went to high school or your various business titles. (This, of course, is the Steve Urkel site.)
I’m not saying your life isn’t fascinating and that some personal information isn’t a good thing, but a little bit goes a long way in this case.
We, the people, are not a patient breed when surfing the Web.
So, if Paris and Urkel are out, who’s in?
Allow me to introduce (drum roll, please) -George Clooney.
My man George personifies the winning characteristics of a website (and a husband, as far as I’m concerned) – good looking, charming AND intelligent!
Like George, a successful site will demonstrate these 5 traits:
1) Draws attention with its style and flair –
The man looks good in tails or a T-shirt because he always projects a strong sense of himself. Images, colors and layout as well as your personal “brand” all play a part in creating this impression with your website. (The theme here is “uncluttered.”)
2) Puts people at ease by being friendly and confident
George isn’t namby-pamby nor is he overbearing- from all accounts he’s very “guy next door” (if the guy next door happens to be a famous millionaire).
On your site, this comes from using an authentic, natural tone to your content as well as paying attention to formatting so it’s easy to navigate and read.
3) Is at least as interested in the visitor as in himself
In a recent article I read, the author was astounded when George accepted his off the cuff invitation to have dinner at his house and reported that the evening ended with George up in his attic looking at a roof leak.
In the same manner, your site will play best if it focuses on your visitor’s perspective and needs rather than your own.
4) Has a sense of humor about it all
The George is a notorious joker, and while you don’t need to be a full-on comedian, a light touch with your website is much more inviting than a serious, dry approach.
5) Shares generously
Besides his jokes, my future fiancé is known for being a loyal and very giving friend.
Your web visitors are there looking to solve a problem they’re having. Be generous with your solutions; rather than taking advantage of you, they’ll be pleased and likely to come back for more.
Effective marketing doesn’t happen by accident. To make the most of your online presence, you’ve got to put a little thought into it. But I promise the payoff is well worth the effort.
©2008 Helen Graves
Helen Graves, Grand Poohbah of Crackerjack Marketing & Website Strategy, is an expert at showing independent entrepreneurs how to get more clients with less stress. Besides writing captivating website copy that prompts visitors into action, she also teaches you how to create a genuine connection with your marketing so you can consistently turn potential prospects into paying clients.
To find out more or to sign up for her free mini audio seminar, “7 Quick & Simple Ways to Get Your Website Working Hard — So You Don’t Have To,” visit Helen at www.CrackerjackWebsites.com.
Amy Lang, MA – Birds + Bees + Kids®
Milo, Kerry and I just took a trip to the Mall for ice cream and a “we’re not buying anything” trip to Toys-R-Us. Yes, we know we are mean and terrible parents for taking our kid to a toy store and not buying anything.
Milo manages just fine – not to worry, there’s a certain amount of whining that goes on, but he nips it in the bud when we tell him we’ll leave if he can’t get it together.
But torturing our kid is not the point of my tale.
Tail, is the point of my tale, actually. In particular, a gigantic poster of a woman wearing panties and sheer, tulle stuff across her breasts and nothing else. Maybe a pair of high heeled strappy shoes of some sort but I don’t remember.
She’s airbrushed to perfection – her long slim EVERYTHING on display for all to see.
And in that moment, seeing her in the window of Victoria’s Secret, I think she belongs in a Playboy magazine.
I found this image of this woman in a public place where kids and teenagers abound to be entirely inappropriate. She is very sexy – undeniably sexy – and she made me uncomfortable.
But as I sit and write this, I’ve had a revelation. I was going to say I want her out of our malls - this sexy image of a woman – and imagined myself linking arms with the Moral Majority, blocking the door of the store and holding a sit-in protest.
I wanted to protect our kids from this fake, porn style picture of a woman. To keep them from seeing this sexualized image and internalizing this sexually stimulating, un-real idea of “woman.”
But now I’m wondering – What is my gut instinct that this sexy photo isn’t appropriate for a family place like a mall really about?
Is it about keeping our kids from being sexualized (this is when they act in a sexual way, like adults or older kids, in reaction to things they’ve seen or been shown how to do)?
Or is it about my puritanical, white, middle class, American culture high-jacking my brain and telling me sex and sexuality is bad and should be secret and not expressed in public?
If I was in Paris and saw this photo, I wouldn’t think twice about it. It’s part of French and European culture to be open about bodies and sexuality.
But in my own mall? In the middle of a Sunday afternoon? In good old America? Something tells me this is not okay.
But when I slow down and think about it, maybe what’s best for our kids is not that Victoria keep her secrets to herself, but we talk to our kids about why we feel uncomfortable when we see images like this one.
Maybe if we explain that bodies are beautiful, in all shapes and forms, even perfectly fake ones, like this woman’s. And explain that what we’re seeing isn’t reality.
Maybe if they see real naked bodies at home or in books, the shame and secrecy about sexuality that our culture is steeped in will loosen its grip.
Maybe if we take the time to talk about what we see and think and feel when we see images like this, our kids will learn that sexuality is a normal and natural part of life and part of being human.
Maybe.
I’m not sure what the answer is, but kicking Victoria out of the mall probably isn’t the answer.
I think the answer probably is at home - but you knew I was going to say that, didn’t you?
birdsandbeesandkids.com ©2008 Birds + Bees + Kids® LLC 206-661-2245
About the Author: Through her business, Birds + Bees + Kids, Amy Lang teaches parents how to talk to their children of any age about sex, love and relationships. She has a 16-year history as a Sexual Health Educator, a Masters in Applied Behavioral Science and loves to help people learn about this vital part of parenting.
Have you heard “Green is the new pink”? Green seems to be the new everything right now. The resurgence of the environmental movement has gotten me thinking about how to be an eco-friendly jewelry lover. Can we green up our bling?
Let’s talk about gold. The Worldwatch Institute has researched the international gold mining process and the news isn’t good. Gold mining displaces people, tears up land and causes air and water pollution. Depressing, I know, but let’s take action, rather than weep into our jewelry boxes. (To read what Worldwatch Institute has to say about gold, visit: http://www.worldwatch.org/node/1491).
What’s a girl to do? We can take the “No Dirty Gold” pledge, which demands that the gold industry becomes socially and environmentally responsible and finds alternatives to their current practices:
http://www.nodirtygold.org/
Helzberg Diamonds and Brilliant Earth are among the retailers that have signed the “No Dirty Gold” pledge. If you like fine jewelry, these companies are making an effort to be kinder to Mother Earth:
http://www.helzberg.com/
http://www.brilliantearth.com/
There are many other fine jewelry retailers who have also pledged to actively pursue cleaner, greener and more socially responsible practices. Check out this list, which includes Cartier, Tiffany & Co. and Jostens (for those of you in the market for a school ring):
http://www.nodirtygold.org/supporting_retailers.cfm
Here’s another green strategy that will allow us to enjoy our jewels responsibly- we can buy jewelry made from recycled metals. What a cool idea- recycling bling to make more bling. Green Karat is a company making contemporary jewelry from recycled gold. I really like their “Imagine” peace sign earrings, and the “Lobed Leaf” earrings. Check them out:
http://www.greenkarat.com/
Oh, how I wish I would have known about these resources when I got married. I am sure that the diamonds in my engagement and wedding rings came from deep dark mines that were once beautiful forests. I have to put my environmental guilt aside and decide that having more information provides me with options to make a better choice next time I buy jewelry. I better go take that pledge now!
Susannah Kyle owns Ruby and Lola Jewelry http://www.rubyandlola.com, which features original necklaces, bracelets and earrings. Each piece is designed and handmade by Susannah. She lives in St. Paul, Minnesota, with her amazing daughters and husband, a dog, two cats and her vintage jewelry collection.