By Kim Estes – PEACE of Mind
	April is National Child Abuse Awareness month. At PEACE of Mind, we think every day is an opportunity for awareness! As we welcome in Spring, as we begin to putter in our gardens, as we dust off our bicycles, as we begin to make plans for the summer as we look ahead to spending time outside with family and friends …
	we ask you to spend a few moments updating your family on your family safety rules, spend a moment to talk to your child about Safety and take time to be aware!

Are you aware…

• that your child’s safety needs change every 6 months?

• that adults are responsible for the safety of children?

• that by just talking to your child about safety reduces their risk for abuse or abduction?

• that you should not use scare tactics when talking to your kids about safety?

• that teaching “stranger Danger” does not work?

• that kids can  sense “red flags”  in people too?

• that even kids as young as 2 can start learning about safety?

• that tweens and teens still need you to talk to them about safety?

• that you have the power every single day to help a child?

Child safety and prevention education is our daily mission at PEACE of Mind. We hope that every adult will stop and take time to talk to a child about safety. Let the children in your life know that they are special and have the right to be safe.

About the Author:  Kim Estes is the co-founder of the non-profit organization: Parent Education And Child Empowerment (P.E.A.C.E of Mind) www.pomwa.org . Kim has worked with parents for over 12 years, educating them on various parenting topics.  Kim and her cohort in crime prevention, Sabrina Sessa, help liberate parents from fearful parenting! Through non fearful techniques and easy to apply parenting strategies they help empower families to be safe. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter for quick safety tweets!

Recently, for the first time in many years, there is a new team in town, and that team has been attracting many of our swim families.  Some families just want to try something new and others feel a stronger connection to the coaches on that team, and all of that is normal and acceptable.  In fact, as a competitive team, we understand competition is crucial to improving and advancing swimmers to the next level.  And I must admit, that it has also done the same for our own team as a whole.  I’d be remiss in my duties if I didn’t also mention that it has come with tension and confusion for all involved, but one we are certainly working on in a very outward and open manner.  It has been a great opportunity for dialogue and reflection for the parents and coaches.  One of the challenges has been the transition of kids going from one team to another and the hurt and confused feelings that go with it.  We have been the “only team in town” for many years, so where other cities are much larger and have many options; this is a first for us.

Now that the initial “shock and awe” has passed, not to mention a few months, what I’m seeing now is that these kids and parents have become accepting and at ease with the new dynamics of our team as well as this other new team.  Kids are back to being friends, parents are talking again and while there is still that hint of “our team is better than your team,” life as we know it seems be back to normal.  Kids are high fiving after their races with swimmers from the opposing team and I can’t tell you how heart-warming that is to see.  There is a place for competition and even strong competitiveness, and that is in the pool.  These kids are still young and friendships outside the pool are key to enjoying the whole swimming experience, and after all, shouldn’t swimming be fun?

Here’s wishing you a very Happy New Year!

Swim on!

SwimMama
Ruthie Palmatier
ruthie@swimmama.com

A new year approaches. It is historically a time of organizing and planning ahead.  It is also a perfect time for putting into action (or reviewing), a simple safety plan for your family.  It is easier than you think!

What’s important
Create a list of the important concerns you have for your family. Consider both current concerns (My child is not good about checking in with a safe grown up) and also future concerns (my child will be taking the school bus in the fall).  Begin addressing the current concerns and start a plan of action for future concerns. Start planning and practicing how you want to approach them with your child.  Our motto is “Be prepared, not scared” and never use scare tactics when talking about safety with your child.

New habits
If you have not started talking to your child about safety on a regular basis, now is the time to start. Make reminders on your calendar if you need to. Help get yourself into a new habit of safety. Take time to “de-brief” with your family. Share the “favorite part / least favorite part” of your day. You can do this at dinner time, bed time or in the car. Just find a few minutes each day.  This will help to create a place for your child to be able to comfortably talk to you about what is happening in their day (and sharing your day too)!  Kids don’t necessarily bring their problems to you in a nice tidy package. It can take months or weeks to divulge little bits and pieces to you, especially if something is bothering them. Often testing to see how you will react. So don’t freak out if they say something that catches you off guard.

Who’s Who?
Review the safety rules your family already has in place. If you have school age children, talk to them about who the “approved” grown ups are to pick them up from school. For younger kids, practice cell phone numbers and who they can turn to if they need help (safe mom -or dad) with kids.

Make safety a part of your new year and remember to make it fun too. Books are a great way to talk about safety with your child. We have great age appropriate book recommendations on safety. Just go to our website to find out more about our great books, tips and conversation starters to get you on your way to creating a safety plan in the new year!

About the Author:  Kim Estes is the co-founder of the non-profit organization: Parent Education And Child Empowerment (P.E.A.C.E of Mind) www.pomwa.org . Kim has worked with parents for over 12 years, educating them on various parenting topics.  Kim and her cohort in crime prevention, Sabrina, help liberate parents from fearful parenting! Through non fearful techniques and easy to apply parenting strategies they help empower families to be safe. Follow us on Twitter for quick safety tweets!

Over and over I’m told one kid in the family is very happy to talk about sex and sexuality, asks questions, hauls out It’s SO Amazing repeatedly, and is open and comfortable with this topic.

The other kid, however, has no interest, even going so far as to cover up ears, leave the room and seems to never, ever, ever crack a book on the topic.

What’s a well intended parent to do with this kid? It sure makes your job harder when your audience has plugged their ears and is singing “Mary Had a Little Lamb” at the top of their lungs!

Here are some ideas for talking to your reticent kiddo -

Continue the conversations with the chatty kid in front of the quiet kid. They will listen too.

Make books available to this child - put them in their room, the bathroom, anyplace they can access them privately. There isn’t a kid on the planet that won’t eventually crack a book about sex, or at the very least, puberty.

There’s nothing like a little pubic hair to get a kid interested in what’s happening to their body, so sometimes, time will do the trick.

Acknowledge their discomfort and explain why it’s important they have this information.

Figure out what you need to tell them and turn it into a two minute sound bite. Then, tell your kid you need two minutes of their time, have them time you and say what you need to say. Don’t talk for more than five minutes if they forget to keep track of the time.

Because nearly every kid has a question they can’t bear to say out loud, I created The Ask ANYTHING Journal. This is a journal your child can write any question they may have in and you write the answer back. This will open the door to conversations and give your shy child a chance to get their questions answered.

Finally, don’t forget it is your job to make sure your kid has this information, so remember your goal - To send your child out into the world with a strong sense of self, the tools to make good decisions, and a healthy relationship with sex and sexuality.

birdsandbeesandkids.com ©2009 Birds + Bees + Kids® LLC 206-661-2245

About the Author: Through her business, Birds + Bees + Kids, Amy Lang teaches parents how to talk to their children of any age about sex, love and relationships. She has a 16-year history as a Sexual Health Educator, a Masters in Applied Behavioral Science and loves to help people learn about this vital part of parenting.

Here they come… the holidays, the relatives and the insane schedules! Now is a great time to take a moment BEFORE things get too crazy, to talk to your family about some common sense safety tips.  There will be lots of interaction with family and friends, new experiences and new places. Take time to practice “what if” scenarios with your kids. Taking time to talk safety with your kids will take some of the anxiety out of your holidays!

Safety while shopping:
 
Have a designated spot (a sales counter) to meet at if you get separated.

Have younger kids practice your name and cell phone number

Remind kids never to leave the store, no matter what!

Practice identifying “safe grown ups” while you are out (e.g. Safe Mom with kids)

Older kids should always take a friend when going to the mall

Kids need to check first with you before going anywhere or accepting gifts

Never leave children unattended in stores, arcades, or playgrounds

Safety at parties:

Let your child chose who they wish to show affection to. Do not force them to kiss or hug someone. Kids need to know they have power over their own bodies.

Check in on kids during large gatherings. Have each adult take 20 minute “shifts” to do a quick walk through the house/yard and check on the kids to make sure that they are doing OK
 
Kids should check first with a parent before going off with someone (eg. To play video games in a bedroom or leaving the house to go play)

If someone is making your child uncomfortable (excessive tickling, hugging, wrestling) intervene on your child’s behalf to end the behavior. Your child needs to know that you will protect them.

Questions? Concerns? Contact us! kim@pomwa.org We’re here to help! Follow us on Twitter for quick tips!

About the Author: Kim Estes is the co-founder of the non-profit organization: P.E.A.C.E of Mind (Parent Education And Child Empowerment) www.pomwa.org . Kim has worked with parents for over 12 years, educating them on various parenting topics. Kim and her cohort in crime prevention, Sabrina Sessa, help liberate parents from fearful parenting through non fearful techniques and easy to apply parenting strategies they help empower families to be safe.

“When did I get so big?!!!” 

I’ve heard women say that for years and I always laughed, “Like duh, where do you think?”
I get it now!  I went up 30 pounds in four months and was not living on fast food burgers, consuming excessive amounts of food or living with extraordinary stress - the extra stress had taken up residence in my gut nine months prior to the body expansion project.  Actually, the hardest part of the fat accumulation was that I’d recently lost 20 pounds and was feeling down right good and hopeful that I taken the necessary steps to true weight management when the extra pounds dumped on me seemingly overnight. 

Now, it appears, I’m stuck at this size and my usual dietary efforts don’t even make a dent.  So back to the drawing board.  What has changed?  My age.  I have an eight year old daughter who is active and vibrant and I just turned 50.  I don’t feel old just overstuffed.  I’m fully aware that exercise is essential to my overall health but accepting the time investment needed before a significant shape change can be achieved is often my deal breaker.  I dive into the body renovation processes with grand intensions only to resort to habitual behaviors when the going gets tough or lengthy.  It’s like cleaning house, dusting is the most fun because you can see the instant improvement. 

Exercise and I have a love/hate relationship.  I love the results of physical exertion.  Inevitably, after walking or working out, I feel energized and possess a feeling of overall wellbeing but I hate doing it.  Meaning, once I’m out there walking, hiking, or running on a treadmill, I actually enjoy the workout.  It’s building in a routine so that the activity becomes a habit and not a burden is the issue.  I’m convinced that exercise plays a part in my body bulge or is at least a contributing factor.  Perimenopause, hormone imbalances, and life changing stress are the other factors. 

Along with all the personal battles with my own self image, I have my mother’s perspective to deal with real and imagined.  My mother exercises to relieve life’s slings and arrows.  I curl up on the couch and read or write stories.  All my hobbies are sedentary.  My mother, 0 body fat, is a competitive tennis player and works out at least once a day.  I try to fit in 200 words on the computer.  The question then is, do I belly up to a stack of Snicker’s bars or do I use the nagging voice in my head as a catalyst to seek a healthy routine and body image?

Making the realization that I’m beautiful as I am is the first step toward healthy living.  Without self acceptance, I’ll be forever obsessing instead of being proactive.  Not to negate the benefits of exercise - as I’ve said, it’s essential - but I’m still me regardless of the shell I’m inhabiting and to understand that unwaveringly while trying on clothes in a tiny (tiny to us big bottomed girls) dressing room boob to nose with my slight of build mother is, if not heartbreaking, character building!  Life has a way of throwing wrenches in to help repair the damage.  This happened to be one of those irreplaceable moments.
On this particular day two months ago, I needed a dress that fit physically and emotionally to wear for my father’s memorial service.  Nothing I had that was appropriate fit my current body.  In the end, the time shopping was a blessing for my mother and for me.  It got her out of the house and doing something we’d always enjoyed together and we focused on something that simply had to be done.  We spent many years together laughing about strange outfits in dressing rooms as I grew up and revisiting this pastime as grieving mother and daughter was extremely therapeutic for both of us.  Nordstrom however must have thought we were loony because of our excessive laughter.

That first step into the dressing room with my mother sitting in front of me was heart stopping.  But what could I say?  I’d never in my life asked her to leave before and now, when she needed support the most, wasn’t the time.  So I sucked it up, literally, and hoped I didn’t see the look in her eyes too clearly as I undress and expose all the lumps. 

Ultimately we decided I needed a tight undergarment to squish me down and keep from bouncing around.  My husband loves “the girls” new girth but in a little black dress, it’s nicer if the first thing people notice isn’t my monumental bra size!  Then came the real fun.   Imagine trying to put both feet into a deflated wad of elasticized stretchy (well they say stretchy) material meant to reduce your width two sizes.  Basically it’s designed to hold you in and keep you from sitting, walking, or breathing properly until you’re released from its hold at the end of the event.  I likened  the scene putting it on to something like watching an elephant delicately step into a bikini six sizes too small.  Needless to say, it was an experience and tears were running down my face by the time I finished, not from mortification, but from the sheer ridiculousness of what we do to ourselves to fit others expectations.

Mom and I both found dresses - the same one as it turned out- hers a size 6 and mine a size 16.  I told her not to worry, no one would ever know in a million years that the dress she had on was the exact same one on my body.  The beauty of the situation was simply how we conveyed the confidence of strong women at such a heart wrenching time in our lives.  I didn’t feel like the “big one” but like a loved daughter honoring her father. 

Supporting Information:

I’m currently walking as often as I can - although not daily, more than three times a week and for as long as fits my schedule.  This way it’s a treat and not an added burden.  I’m parking farther away when I go shopping, taking the stairs, and all those little things that add up in the end…like the French women do!

Diets don’t work for me.  If I’m dying to have something, I eat it…I’ve found, common sense, that depriving myself really doesn’t work at all and leads to binging on that food item I miss so much.  Sticking to fresh fruits, lots of veggies, and minimizing the usual culprits, refined sugar and simple carbohydrates, actually feels better too.  What do you know!? 

Trader Joe’s has great frozen steel cut oatmeal.  Just open the package, pop it in the microwave and, voila, a healthy and quick breakfast.  I don’t add anything to mine and usually half of one serving is all I can eat.

I know why I eat.  I eat to fill a void, to ease tension, to celebrate a great moment, to smother my poor self image…etc.  Now my job is to start working on my novel or going for that much needed walk instead of opening the box of cookies.  Most of the time it works. 

Trader Joe’s also has large bottles of green tea for just a dollar or two and often if I poor a glass of tea when the urge to eat for eating sake strikes, add lemon and guzzle, I feel satisfied.  If that’s not enough a handful of almonds does the trick.

I’m not breaking any weight loss speed records, but I’m feeling confident, more healthy, and I’ll check my progress in a few weeks and reassess if my casual procedure is paying off or not. 

Melissa is the mother of a six year old little girl, Madeline, and the wife of a former ship captain. She and her family just moved to Maine a year ago from Monterey, CA to experience a change in lifestyle and become middle aged entrepreneurs. After 22 years of teaching, Mel (Melissa) needed more time with her family and so she and a friend started Dancestones.org; the business of giving comfort through Maine’s rolled stones. Reading and Writing are her deepest passions- when she’s not collecting stones in remote areas of Maine!

We sent Brandon to a swim camp this summer and what an amazing experience he had.  He spent a week in New Mexico training with Olympic Gold Medalist swimmer, Tom Jager.  They did a high altitude training, which included a full on camping experience.  Half of the week was spent camping, where they actually had the kids sleeping in tents, cooking over campfires and just experiencing the greater outdoors.  Regardless of where the kids slept, for seven full days, they swam 2 hours in the morning, and 2 hours in the afternoon.  Each day of camp they also did some kind of dry land cross-training.  Tom spent a lot of time talking with the kids, telling them of his Olympic journey, both his trials and triumphs.  He talked about the dedication it takes, the hard work and perseverance.  He was very inspiring and motivating and Brandon really enjoyed the whole experience.  As for the workouts,  they were intense and as Brandon put it “the hardest workouts I’ve ever experienced.”  And he loved every minute of it.

With only 20 kids at the camp and four coaches, all of the kids were able to get some great training time.  The camp really had a family feel to it, which for me was invaluable.  This was Brandon’s first real time away from home and I must admit we were both missing each other very much.  It was a good growth experience for both of us in that way, and while Brandon got some very valuable extra one-on-one attention and technique training, what stands out most to him was what he learned mentally.  He came home with was greater sense of his own personal power and abilities.  And what he learned he is able to translate that into all areas of his life, not just swimming.  I believe camps in general can provide that for your kids.  It doesn’t have to be a swim camp, but if your swimmer is at all committed to the sport, consider sending him to a swim camp next summer.  Not only do they have a wonderful experiences, meet other kids from other places, I believe it is great to have kids work with other coaches, even for just a week or even a couple of days.

Fall is upon us, which means it is time to get back into the routine of school and life in general.  It’s a little sad to me to say farewell to the summer weather, play time and general flexibility that comes with not being in school, but at the same time I’m excited to start a new year and swim season.

Good luck to all of you going back to school.  If you swim on a year ‘round swim team, I wish you well as you embark on another season of fast swims and fun times.

Swim on!

SwimMama
Ruthie Palmatier
ruthie@swimmama.com

Most of us have a pretty good idea of how much, say, a hammer or a linen shirt or a cup of Guatemalan roast coffee is going to cost us.  But when it comes to coaching, interior design, copywriting or something other than a concrete product, the Average Joe or Jane usually has little basis for comparison.

So how do you convey to a potential client what it is you do and why they should want it - not to mention help them understand what a fair price would be?  Excellent question; I’m so glad you asked.

The key is to focus on value rather than price.  Now you may say that’s splitting hairs, but there is a critical distinction between the two.  And that distinction will help you comfortably engage in the all-important “So, what do you charge?” conversation.

If that’s a conversation that’s been leaving you a bit tongue-tied, here are three tips to make it easy as 1, 2, 3.

Tip 1 - Be certain you recognize the value before you ask your clients to
Many of us equate the value of our services with our own sense of self-worth.  Sadly, this means that we are seriously undervaluing what we do (AND undercharging for it).  We may feel greedy or selfish or undeserving if we want to increase our fees, or even in asking for our current fee.

When you fail to appreciate your own expertise, your clients will follow suit.  Spend some time identifying all the results you give, all the benefits a client receives when they work with you.  Realize that what you offer is truly a gift for the right people.  A gift they will gladly pay for.

Tip 2 - Educate your prospective clients about the value of what you offer BEFORE you talk about price
When you talk about fees before introducing the results they can expect, your prospective client will be basing their buying decision on price.  They don’t have enough information to do otherwise.  It’s a little like asking someone to spend money for a “surprise gift.”  They have no idea what fabulous thing may be inside, and most people won’t risk their money on an unknown.

One way to introduce the idea of value is to ask directly, “What results are you wanting to achieve?”  And then use their answer to describe how what you offer fits with what they’re looking for.  (Or not, in which case you can add value by referring them to someone who can provide what they want.)

Tip 3 - Add extra value whenever possible so it becomes easy for them to say “yes”
Always give them a bit more than they expect.  This can be as simple as when a hotel puts a chocolate on the pillow (I just love that, don’t you?), or in your case, answering an email request with a personal phone call, or adding a bonus gift to your program or services. 

For example, with my Passion for Profit Intensive workshop, I’m offering a Website Rx assessment to every person who registers (at no extra charge).  It’s a comprehensive 19-point evaluation of what’s working, and what could be enhanced, to make your website as client-capturing as possible.  It’s fairly simple for me to do and judging from the response I’ve gotten, it adds a lot of value by giving specific feedback and suggestions.  So we’ve got a win-win situation that gives great results and increases the appeal of the teleseminar.

Setting and discussing fees is often a loaded subject for many of us.  It’s natural to feel a bit awkward at first.  But it doesn’t do you -or your potential client- any good to stay in that awkward place.  Clearly identifying the value of what you offer will significantly increase your comfort level when it comes time to “talk turkey” with a potential client. 

©2009 Helen Graves

Helen Graves, Grand Poohbah of Crackerjack Online Marketing Strategy, shows service-based small business owners how to create stronger connection so you sell more with your product and program promotional campaigns.

Visit www.OnlineLaunchSecrets.com to of her free online marketing resource, “Make More Sales: How to Create Connection and Desire So Clients Can’t Wait to Buy from You.”

In a story that began over 125 years ago, Samuel Rothschild, a Frankfurt born itinerant peddler, sold coats to workers in Pennsylvania from his horse-drawn cart. Today, two families and a century later, S. Rothschild is the foremost label for quality coats and outerwear for children in the United States.
A passion for design, dedication to quality and unsurpassed craftsmanship are the hallmarks that have made S. Rothschild the recognized leader in children’s outerwear. For over five generations, mothers have turned to S. Rothschild for beautiful coats, jackets and prams for girls and boys from newborn to pre-teen. A coat for every occasion.

At S. Rothschild, the customer has always been the centerpiece of the company’s strategy. This coupled with a heritage of design excellence and innovation has led to the development of signature styles for which S. Rothschild is renowned. From the velvet trimmed wool princess coat, worn by legions of fairy princesses and the faux fur skating coat with braided trim to the red wool coat worn by a President’s granddaughter at his inauguration, the Rothschild coat is part of American history.

An uncompromising mix of style, quality and practicality and a longstanding commitment to generations of customers make S. Rothschild and Company the premier outerwear name when it comes to America’s children.

Pictured are Spencer and Cooper sporting their fall coats.  Spencer sports style 49327 Solid Puffer with contrast trim, sizes 4-7 MSRP $64. Cooper is wearing Style 49202 Multi-purpose reversible Midweight jacket MSRP $46 for Toddler and $50 for 4-7.  Their Poly Fleece Lining is a high quality double sided hydrophobic fleece which is anti-pilling and abrasion resistant.  The nylon lining is super woven, making it light weight wind resistant and breathable.

There are multi pockets on the interior and exterior for all of the stuff they carry. Their coats have quick release hoods for easy on and off access.  One of my favorite features is the adjustable half cinch cuffs for wind and water resistance.

The shell is an exclusive fabric which provides high vapor permeability while retaining excellent waterproof characteristics.

The best part about these little gems is the insulation. They are specially designed to provide maximum warmth with minimal weight.

Fall is merely around the corner and your kids will thank you for making them a Rothschild kid!

www.rothschildcoats.com

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I posted a surprisingly conversation producing tidbit on Facebook (you can become my friend to see the full conversation) the other day - “Children don’t need privacy unless they are on the pot or getting dressed.” A lot of Mamas chimed in about this off-handed comment of mine.

For starters, as my comment reads, this isn’t entirely what I meant - it’s only part of my beliefs about kids and privacy. So here’s the scoop, from my perspective.
Young kids don’t need privacy - unless they are getting dressed, or using the potty, or (don’t freak out here) “self stimulating” - you know, touching their naughty bits. When they have friends over, there isn’t any reason to close their bedroom doors. Anything they are doing should be something they could be doing in the middle of the living room.

I know you all remember playing furiously in your best friend’s bedroom with the door closed and 90% of the time it was just innocent fun. Sometimes, the play can be sexual in nature - like looking at or even sometimes touching private body parts. This can happen spontaneously out of another game or, if it isn’t “natural and healthy” can be instigated by a kid who has experienced some sexualized contact or possibly been sexually abused.

This is why I like the door at my house left open when my boy has friends over. And, to paraphrase my friend Leah, “Their brains go out the door when they are in a group and they hatch crazy plans, wreck things, bully and all sorts of not okay stuff.”

Tweens and teens are slightly different animals - I still think they don’t need privacy when they have friends over - leaving the door cracked will still allow them the feeling of privacy, but not the sealed off feeling of the door being fully closed. Diaries, online communication, texting, cell phones, the list is long. And do I need to mention the sex thing? Where and when do you stick your nose in?

Trust came up over and over again in the Facebook conversation. I don’t see this as a matter of trust, per se, more one of practicality. But ultimately, it is up to you - the parent - to decide what is going to work for your family and your kids. This is truly a values issue.

So - I’ll put it to you - how much privacy do you think kids need? 

birdsandbeesandkids.com ©2009 Birds + Bees + Kids® LLC 206-661-2245

About the Author: Through her business, Birds + Bees + Kids, Amy Lang teaches parents how to talk to their children of any age about sex, love and relationships. She has a 16-year history as a Sexual Health Educator, a Masters in Applied Behavioral Science and loves to help people learn about this vital part of parenting.